this is heartache
by arsonistlullaby
Summary: Sometimes, Seth thinks looking at Kate is too hard. Cross-posed from AO3. Minor fluff.


I do not own FDTD or any of its characters. I have posted this under the same penname on AO3.

* * *

Sometimes, looking at her was too hard.

She'd be sitting on the bed on her side of the room, polishing his gun, absentmindedly listening to the muffled sounds coming from the television, or brushing out the tangles in her wet hair, eyes fixed on something in the room that Seth couldn't see.

There was so much in her eyes that he recognized too easily. Things girls her age shouldn't know, and she seemed to know them all too well.

Now, Kate was sitting cross-legged on the bed right beside him, applying a topical treatment to the fresh wound on his bicep. She laughed; a refreshing change of course from on-going indifference and silent suffering, but a different monster altogether. Seth didn't want to dwell on that.

"What?" he asked, trying not to wince at the sting of her touch.

"I just… I can't believe you slipped in the shower and… managed to cut your arm _this bad_."

"I told you," he sighed. "The fucking edge of the handle on the door stabbed me. The thing is banged up so bad. I would be surprised if I don't catch tuberculosis or something. I'm tired of these shitty fucking motels."

"Stop your huffing, big bad wolf. It's not like you need stitches. What can you really do about it right now, anyway?" she asked while carefully applying a bandage. "Complain?"

"Yeah, actually. I can."

She shook her head. _Of course._ "Is that too tight?" she asked, and he replied with a shake of the head. "How did you slip anyway? Do we need to look into stealing you one of those shower seats? Do they even make portable ones?"

He rolled his eyes and turned to meet hers. "Great. We can pick you up a booster seat while we're at it."

"Funny. How'd it happen anyway?"

"What?"

"Slipping in the shower. Were you having an acapella jam session and rocked too hard?"

"It was… nothing."

She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously not buying into his claims.

As usual, he started telling her anyway.

"The window above the shower was open and some… thing must have crawled in and it took me by surprise, so I slipped."

The smile on her face now was hard to look at for a different reason altogether. Irritation started to heat up beneath his skin.

"You got scared?! No way! What crawled in?"

"Some ugly ass lizard, I don't know. I didn't get scared, either. I was just… surprised."

She nodded her head as though she believed him, but he could tell she didn't.

"Is it still there?" She looked back towards the bathroom door.

"I killed it," he admitted, and her jaw fell open. "I didn't think! Besides, it was sticking to the wall and freaking me out."

"Let's have a look-see." She zipped up the drugstore first aid kit and placed it on the dresser, then walked over to the bathroom.

Laughter erupted from the other room, and Seth reluctantly joined her to see what all of it was about.

"Seth… the lizard. You killed… gecko," she managed to utter between laughs. It was the hardest - and longest - he'd ever seen her laugh.

"What?"

She calmed down a bit after a moment, her face still bright red with amusement. "It's a gecko, Seth. A gecko scared you and you killed it."

"That's a gecko?"

"Your name is Gecko and you don't know what a gecko is?"

He shrugged. "I knew what they looked like, kind of… I figured they were bigger, is all."

She turned to look at him again, her mouth stretched into a grin, her green eyes almost glistening. Even though she was making fun of him, he almost felt like he wanted to freeze this moment. She looked less like the ruin of a girl, and more like a real one.

"Aw, are you sad not all Geckos are big and scary?" she teased, placing one small hand on each of his shoulders.

He shook his head and began to turn to leave the bathroom.

"Where are you going? Get it out of the bathroom."

"Nah, I'll leave that to you. Geckos are obviously a source of amusement for you. Wouldn't want to deprive you of the opportunity."

"Seth! You killed it. You dispose of the corpse."

"That's what partners are for," he called out from the bedroom, but returned a second later, making a face as he pushed the dead gecko onto the an old magazine with a clothes hanger.

He shoved the gecko just inches away from Kate's face, causing her to wince and back away, her mouth twisted into something of disgust and bewilderment.

Something inside him twitched, but he tried not to pay it any mind. For now, things were light.

He glanced at her again before leaving the room to dispose of his most recent kill, and took in the way she was still smiling to herself even though she wasn't aware he was still looking.

Sometimes, looking at her was the hardest thing in the world. But fuck it if that would ever make him stop.


End file.
